I just wanted to share this with scorehero.

**b.vicious** · Joined: 29 Jun 2007 Posts: 2075 Location: Internet

Hello all, I'm sure none of you actually know me, you've probably seen a few posts here or there from me but that's about it. 10 years ago today my father was tragically killed in a bus accident, he was the accordionist for the jan lewan orchestra (he also played for jimmy sturr and won 5 grammy awards with him for anybody who may (but probably doesn't) know about polka music). They were on their way to florida by bus because they didn't have enough money to get a plane. At 7AM on January 26th 2001, the bus driver fell asleep in Dillon SC, hit a guard rail. My father was sleeping, and just happened to be in one of those seats, hit his head and was killed instantly. My family got him to have a guest book on legacy.com after his death for people to write in it about that person and the memories they had with him.

I know you don't know me, but I felt that I should share with scorehero what I wrote in the guest book after 10 years of the death of my dad.

Dad,
It's been a whole 10 years, and I cannot believe that it has gone by this quickly. I still remember that tragic day ever so vividly, it haunts me just thinking about it. Sometimes it's hard, I just feel like giving up. I would give any possession of mine, anything that I have achieved in this lifetime, where I am currently in my life, to spend one more day with you as father and son. To wake up, go to breakfast, have a nice conversation, then go to a park and have a catch, come home, watch the bills game (although now all they do is lose), have some wings and pizza, have a few drinks together, and then go out and just enjoy life. You are the sole reason I am who I am, I try to be the best human being I can. I know I'm not perfect, I know I have plenty of flaws. But that's okay, because I strive everyday to be just like you. You are my inspiration, my guide, my guardian angel. When I'm feeling down, I can feel you, I can sense your presence rushing into me to try and help me to continue to fight in this epic battle we call life. 10 years ago today, my life was changed forever, I lost my father due to a tragic accident. Now 10 years later, I sit here on my computer, typing to you on this very same webpage that I did so long ago, telling you my feelings. Times have changed, I am now grown up, I'm in college, I can express my thoughts much more thoroughly than I could when I originally lost you. Now I want you to know exactly how I'm feeling. Everything happens for a reason. While I cannot say I prefer this life, I definitely know why this tragedy was bestowed onto me. Despite losing what is the greatest inspiration in my life, by losing you, that only made you even more of an inspiration in my life. I feel that I wouldn't even be close to the man I am now if you were still here by my side. Yes, I would much rather have that, but I see now in retrospect why you had to be taken away from me. I now leave you this legacy.com posting not with a good-bye, but with a till next time, with an I miss you dearly, and the second I see you in heaven, you better have 2 baseball mitts in your hand, because there is nothing more that I want to have a catch with you.

"My heart is bleeding bad, but I'll be okay, Your spirit guides my life each day" - Dream Theater "The Best Of Times"

I love you dad,
Sincerely, your son,
Brandon Karas
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**GesterX** · Joined: 24 Dec 2007 Posts: 1242 Location: Birmingham, UK

Man that whole post put a lump in my throat!
I'm really sorry for your loss and I cannot imagine going through something like that myself. I'm glad you could come out of the whole thing stronger and find inspiration in it.

**DanTheBib** · Posted: Fri Feb 11, 2011 5:33 pm Post subject:

That was incredible. I'm touched that you could even begin to share something this personal..which is why I imagine people haven't replied..it's so difficult to know what to say..

I guess just thankyou for sharing, and stay strong.
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**evilpacman18** · Joined: 26 Jun 2009 Posts: 948 Location: Azusa, CA

I'm gonna listen to the Jan Lewan Orchestra on youtube now.
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**The-B.O.D.** · Joined: 20 Dec 2008 Posts: 2413 Location: Portland, Oregon

I'm actually crying right now >_<

That was incredibly heartfelt, thank you for sharing

**LlamaYip** · Joined: 23 Dec 2008 Posts: 3151 Location: Chicago, IL

**FingerQuick** · Posted: Sat Feb 12, 2011 7:43 am Post subject:

i just damn near cried, very nicely written and I'm sorry for your loss. I will honestly say however, I have never heard of the Jan Lewan Orchestra. I might just have to listen to them sometime

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**sportsboy85** · Joined: 02 May 2009 Posts: 1497

b. vicious has earned my respect as a human being.

**b.vicious** · Joined: 29 Jun 2007 Posts: 2075 Location: Internet

thank you all for the kind responses, for those who want to see my dad in action I found a vid of him with the Jan Lewan Orchestra. he is the accordionist http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-bf78UqKNGo
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**Fedora** · Joined: 14 Mar 2006 Posts: 2286 Location: Des Moines, IA

My Dad is an asshole, and still alive.

I regret that I'll never get to look fondly enough on him to write something like this.
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